DC Subtitles ScrewUps
by animephoenix2468
Summary: a.k.a. You Know You're Watching Detective Conan with Terrible Subtitles When... Rated T because DC shouldn't really be watched by kids. Seriously...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I wrote this in order to creatively rant about some of the horrible **_**Detective Conan**_** subtitles I've found. Unfortunately, all of these mistakes and general errors are real ones that I've found over the course of only a handful of episodes. I don't intend to offend anybody with this, only to release some personal frustrations. I do not own Detective Conan or any of the characters, and I certainly do not own the subtitles.**

You know you're watching _Detective Conan_ with terrible subtitles when:

1. Ai Haibara has been replaced by an evil clone named Ai Haigen.

2. "Onii-chan" suddenly means "father" instead of "older brother."

3. As a result of the above change, an elementary school kid's father is ten years older than him.

4. A drama troupe becomes a circus troupe overnight.

5. The circus troupe's script writer holds out his pipe and asks someone to buy another pack of cigarettes for him.

6. The loan word "alibi" means excuse. (It's almost a synonym, but that doesn't make it a proper translation.)

7. The Black Organization is, "detective-like."

8. According to Shinichi's dialogue about how he turned into Conan, he says that Gin was Vodka's, "companions."

9. "Goaled" is a word.

10. The name "Kaneko" is turned into "Kinko."

11. Conan's hat drops his hat.

12. Ai Haigen teamed up with someone named Gentai and has asked him to replace Genta.

13. Inspector Megure says, "Hello," while trying to prevent someone from shooting a random spectator at a soccer match.

14. "Television camera," which has similar Japanese and English pronunciations—possibly loan-words—and a picture of a camera on the screen when it's said, is translated as "television screen."

15. The loan word/phrase "box stand" doesn't seem to mean "box stand."

16. Another loan word, "coat," is translated as "suit." (They don't seem to like loan words.)

17. Someone can collect "1000 million" yen but not 1 billion.

18. Instead of being a camera person, someone can become an entire camera crew.

19. They forget to subtitle the preview for the next episode.

20. There are so many more mistakes that the viewer begins to wonder if the subtitle-makers were too lazy to look things up or if they couldn't speak either Japanese or English properly.

**If someone wants me to continue this for whatever reason, just let me know, and I'll see what I can do. There were more mistakes than this, such as "Konan" and "Takaki," but I let those slide because of understandable spelling/transliteration mistakes. I hope this made you laugh at least a little bit.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Shiori: Woah! I was surprised that this story got quite a few reviews so quickly. *secretly cries with joy* I hope that I can keep updating this at a decent-if irregular-pace. Also, I have a question for the readers: Should I keep this in a list form or add a small piece to each mistake with some of the characters' reactions?**  
**On another similar note, I want to thank Peltra, Mikayasha, Pu7o, kaitouneko, and Malizia for reviewing as well as telling me about other mistakes (Mikayasha), an explanation about (X)CHKS, a list of episodes with bad subs (both from Pu7o), and overall encouragement. Also, thanks to those of you who read, favorited, and/or followed this story.**  
**Conan: Get to the story, already!**  
**Shiori: Don't make me tell Ran about the time you threw a fit because Japan lost the World Cup!**  
**Conan: ...**  
_**Disclaimer: If I owned Detective Conan, then it would have been written in English for obvious reasons. I **_**clearly**_** don't own the subs! I also mean no offense to the subbers or any crossdressers.**_

You know you're watching _Detective Conan _with terrible subtitles when:  
1. The timing of the subtitles is so bad that Ran seems to be saying what her father said. That could lead to some interesting situations...  
2. Third rate detectives suddenly become third graders without the "detective-like" Black Organization interfering.  
3. A novel has been out-of-print 800 years ago.  
4. Shinichi isn't a deduction geek. He's a deduction fly. Who knew insects could solve mysteries?  
5. Haigen and Gentai have teamed up to begin their reign of terror against the "Characters of the Day," such as replacing Shinmei Kaori with Shinmyou Kaori.  
6. Kogoro knows what a famous author's favorite line is but never finishes his own line to say what it is.  
7. Periods, question marks, and other punctuation marks are being conserved due to a grammar drought.  
8. Evrybody speeks n chatspeek, bcause da subtitlers r 2 lazy 2 rite it out. (Thanks for the tip, Mikayasha.)  
9. A publishing office seems to have forgotten about Daylight Savings Time, because it receives a fax at 1 AM while midnight is shown in military time on the screen.  
10. "A Honey Cocktail Murder Case" has been changed to "Case of the Bee-Chicken-Tail." It appears that the bug concoction wasn't the only freaky potion they were creating...  
11. Kogoro calls the owner of the Bee-Chicken-Tail mansion a man even though he called her/him/it pretty earlier on.  
12. And he's not the only one. Nobody thinks twice about a cross-dressing company owner as long as they don't have to drink his/her/its literal bug juice. (Not that anybody can agree about which gender to refer to him/her/the creature as.)  
13. Haigen and Gentai strike again! Hachimaki is now Honmaki, but somebody seems to have caught on and wrote, "Honmaki(?)" in the subtitles. However, the clones won't go down without a fight, so they made sure that proofreading was eliminated from the editing process.  
14. Oh, wait! They even changed his given name from "Hachibee" (pronounced similarly to "Ha chi beh eh") to "Haemon" in retaliation!  
15. The clones are having fun with this lone episode (120 in the subs). "Aihara" was replaced by "Aibara." Maybe they forced another odd potion down Haibara's throat to change her into a middle-aged man and changed her last name!  
16. Shinichi, the deduction fly, was turned into Edogawa Konan in a game center, because "game center" now means "amusement park."  
17. It's bad to have "such good food in the afternoon."  
18. "Closed door cases" are just as difficult as sealed room cases. Clearly, opening closed doors is impossible.  
19. The mansion owner was attacked by bees when he/she/it was "primary six." Math teachers lied when they said that six was not a primary number!  
20. Helium now means "oxygen," so we should all use helium tanks while scuba diving.


	3. Note and Requests

Hey, guys. This is Shiori. I received the answers to the poll/question, and DC Subtitles Screw-Ups will now have little stories/anecdotes to go along with the mistakes! However, I've been struggling with it and decided to ask for the help of the readers. If anybody wants me to do a DCSSU Chapter of a specific episode, please, let me know through a review or a message. It would be a great help to me and get the readers involved just a bit more. I'm juggling a few ideas for how to handle the stories, including having the characters be actors reading their scripts, having the characters watch the episode and comment, and having the characters stay in-character up until the moment the mistake shows up and they break character. If anybody has ideas/suggestions for that, please notify me as well.

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I'll work on it as soon as I can.


End file.
